Elves…Santa’s little helpers or demented little social outcasts?

’tis that time of the season when the gift lists come out of the dusty recesses about the house and the sudden flurry of insanity begins–the dashing through the snow, the storming of the airport, the endless barrage of sale flyers and advertisements and, of course, the wonderful nervousness of children wishing, hoping, praying even, that Santa and the elves received their letters in time before the Christmas Eve deadline…and then there’s me.  And the Black Hole.

What, you don’t know about U.M. and the B.H.??( in the voice of Burl Ives, preferably).  No really, haven’t any of you ever wondered just how it is that seemingly simple wish lists seem to enter my head, swirl around, disappear entirely, then reappear as something entirely other than expected?  Hmmm…it makes me pause to wonder if maybe I hit my head just a little harder than initially thought.  Maybe, just maybe, I was say, abducted by aliens and replaced by a kinder, gentler version in a similar suit.  Hmmm…I’m just saying….I always feel a little bit sorry for anyone who has dropped an obvious hint about what they really want instead of specifying just precisely what it is that they absolutely will sacrifice to the next available garage sale, anywhere!!

So, feel free to wish, hope, pray even, that your presents happen to coincide with something that you actually want, but remember to act surprised (excited even) when you tear open your presents and discover, much to your delight, that someone other than your late aunt Ethel knew that you wanted crocheted slippers with a great honkin’ seam stitched right down the middle!!

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